May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
