So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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