Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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