therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
