My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
