we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
