WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
