It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
