im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
