My friends, they love my intelligence
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would fuck him just for his dog
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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