smell my finger.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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