just come out here and I will go home with you...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
