Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
