im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
