I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
