i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
