come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
