11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm like, not good at living.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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