Whod you bang
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
