white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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