Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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