I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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