his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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