She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
