Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
