I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
