No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I looked at my own cervix.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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