hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
