it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
