Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
