Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
