Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
