More tranny stories later!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
