Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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