There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
