Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
