The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
