theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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