using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
