Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize