Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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