id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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