it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
God, I missed his penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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