you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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