y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
