i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
