im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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