Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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