This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
