what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
