so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
