Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
