I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
