U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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