i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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