Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
