im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
