just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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