I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
