are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
