You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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