you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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