Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
