is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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