So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
