god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
